After what feels like a sempiternal reign of incoherent belligerency, we can finally say goodbye to that imbecilic Texan simian and his band of merry idiots, and welcome something fresh — hopefully something successful.

Now Barack, I might be just one voice in an enormous sea, speaking from outside your country's borders irreverently, but let me say this as clearly as I can so that it might be picked up by a whitehouse.gov flunky: Don't screw up.

I don't particularly care about politics within the United States especially, but considering how inextricably tied the world is to your country — financially or otherwise — and the current state of society at large, it seems you have a hell of a mess to clean up; In particular after your predecessor. I don't envy your task ahead, but please: Don't screw up.

It's Christmas time again. It comes around every year, and for some reason this year I really couldn't care less. I don't think I'm becoming a scrooge, but rather I think it has something to do with the fact that Christmas started four months ago and I'm sick of hearing about it.

But never fear: for in a few day's time Valentine's Day promotions will start, and before too long Easter will rear its ugly head — all obscenely ahead of schedule.

Continue reading "Christmas is nearly over, finally"